“My days are swifter than a weaver’s shuttle...” Job 7:6a KJV
I had my first child when I was 20 years old. Before I could fully step into adulthood with the degree I was pursuing, I became known by my favorite title, "mom." Since that moment, 25 years ago, I have been known as “Blake’s mom," then “Emily’s mom," then “Robby’s mom” and “Jake’s mom.”
One by one, I have watched as they have successfully started flying out of the nest.
The nest I have worked SO hard to build. The nest I have poured my very being into. The nest I have tried to make warm, inviting, safe, and fun. The loud and boisterous nest. The nest with a never ending pile of laundry. The nest with so many little mouths begging for that next meal (when they haven’t even finished the meal set before them no less)! The nest I have packed up, moved, and resettled 13 times, in 9 different states (compliments of the Air Force).
I blinked.
My nest these days is calmer. Stays cleaner on the daily, without heroic effort. My nest is less demanding. The ‘peace and quiet’ once longed for, has started to settle in unbeknownst to me.
I blinked.
I now fondly remember the days of infants, breastfeeding, diaper changing, sleepless nights. Slowly, that turned into ‘mean ladies in my closet’ (my daughters version of ghosts/bad guys that we were always fighting for her in the middle of the night), potty training, asserting independence and will. Then these stages continued to start all over again every few years, while the older ones continued faithfully marching into their next phase. Oh so quickly, I was shedding tears as I dropped off my first child at K-5 and thought, ‘how will I survive the day without him at home?’ Next thing you know, we are going from sports practice to sports practice, going to games, attending field trips, working on school projects that keep getting more and more complex as the years go by.
I blinked.
Out of nowhere, my youngest of 4 was being dropped off at K-5. All 4 kids were at school. All.Day.Long. That was a weird transition for sure. Then came driver's licenses, dating, prom, college tour after college tour. Then, graduation.
Honestly, I just blinked.
This year, I am walking the same path with our 3rd child. I have been watching as he has been taking longer and longer strides, slowly lifting his wings and getting ready for his take-off. I've done this twice before. I should be prepared. But here is part of the problem, I KNOW what lies ahead. I know the good, the bad, and the ugly. How can a person feel so much joy and pride and, utter heart break all at the same time? I stand poised, holding my breath, as a million memories flash through my mind. How many times has he jumped off a playground, a wall, a dock? How many times have I told him to be careful? Now, he's about to take the largest leap ever.
Fly little birdie, fly, but, please, be careful! Oh, and please, call your mom.
I have walked, and am currently walking, the path you are walking. I understand the crazy mix of emotions that hits you in waves. I am here to walk the path with you. I am here to offer friendship and encouragement. I am here to offer hope.
“My days are swifter than a weaver’s shuttle.”
Not sure I know what a weaver's shuttle is, but, I hear you Job. I hear you.
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